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The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local. It's a way to remind myself why I write on this topic. Dementia is heartless. Visit him at www.vincentokeefe.com or on Twitter @VincentAOKeefe or Facebook at Vincent O’Keefe. One of which was Margaret Mavis Harpley, 85, who had been suffering with Alzheimer’s Disease for a number of years. But you never know what small, barely noticeable gestures and habits might become your most visible, defining characteristics in the eyes of your children someday. My mother touched countless lives with her volunteer work. Because you'll know where they come from. I write my mother's eulogy every single week. They write themselves. As everyone took stock of our family’s past, I learned a surprising lesson: Memories borne through touch, taste, sound travel well. I believe that if the information is readily available, and consistently reinforced, it's possible to get through to people and to change behavior. That fear is not misplaced. For years. Not in a material sense, but in matters of character. My mother certainly got an A ++ in this. Carla R. Dearing died on Dec. 7, 2014, at the age of 78, after a long, heart-breaking period of physical and mental decline inflicted on her by dementia. But as long as Mom could still lift a hand, she would lift it in kindness to someone else.". Really, it's about the lifestyle choices we make. "In 2007, I used the term 'treating prodromal Alzheimer's disease,' and no one paid attention to me," Isaacson said in a recent article in Psychology Today. I recently lost my mother to Alzheimer’s. He runs the Alzheimer's Prevention Clinic at the New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center in Manhattan. So I go after dementia the way it went after my mother -- relentlessly, clinically, unrepentantly. m_gallery_permalink = "http://photos.nj.com/8001122/gallery/dementia_cruelly_methodically_took_my_mothers_life/index.html"; In a way, I'm still writing it. She had been a resident at our home on Westbourne Road since 2015. Follow him on Twitter @TonyDearing. Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site. But dementia doesn't care. Another older brother of mine cherished the sensory memory of hearing my mother’s footsteps. Granted, my mother never learned how to cook as a child, which meant a lot of creative variations of instant and frozen food with names like chicken loaf and porcupine rice balls. I will continue to write this column every week, because it's important to put this information in front of people, and to keep it in front of them. She had high expectations for us. Grandma never heard my dad preach a mediocre sermon; 3. Your email address will not be published. Wants and Needs: Teach Your Children the Difference with These Tips, No Matter Your Game, Sports Bring Families Together During Hard Times. Ten years ago this past fall is the day that Dad calls “the worst day of my life.” “A cheerful heart has a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15). Perhaps the only silver lining was that the disease’s slow progression gave my five siblings and me time to process her death, reflect on her life, and arrange an appropriate memorial service.

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